Crusaders vs Penlan

(Mike Gravenor Picture Post): Lloyd in full flow and Tom Gravenor moves into close support as Liam steps back.

Match report for Penlan follows from Mike Morgan.

Editor's note: Mike has been given a word count of less than 10,000 words. He has got round this by using foreign expressions or sayings from the 19th century, which he says do not count.

Sunday 22/2/09

Penlan 4 Mumbles Crusaders 7


On a bright Sunday morning, the Crusaders 222 squadron and its troupe of aviatrical acrobats navigated a course through the Swansea's suburbian skyways for a tricky away fixture against the pride of Penlan. Having safely avoided the flock of migrating birds of paradise, the 222 squadron touched down on the notoriously tricky Windy City runway at Mynydd Newydd at 10.30 for an 11:00 kick off.

With the highly prized and much sought after matrix machine escaping the Machiavellian clutches of the barking mad Italian Rugby Selection Panel, the players on show today were: Dom, Tom G, Cameron, Lloyd, Aled, Liam, Keiran, Nathan, James P. The captain for the day, as selected by Master Oenologist and Pork Scratchings expert Nick John, was Alex.

Having welcomed back the winter in traditional Inuit style, and with Penlan only managing to raise 8 players for the game, the wide, open pitch and perfect playing surface enabled a fast and flowing game of rugby that was conducive to both sets of players and styles of rugby that are actively encouraged. In attack and defence the Crusaders contested for everything in a game superbly refereed by Birthday Boy Lyndon. For the Crusaders it was particularly pleasing to see some progression in terms of an increasing level of composure with the ball in hand amongst the players and a growing appreciation of the more complex laws of the game. Yet again all the players today made some telling contributions, with tries scored by Tom G, Lloyd, Dominic and it was pleasing to see Liam appear on the scoresheet again. Alex, who revelled in his role as captain did some excellent close contact work and clearouts at the breakdown. Equally eager to share in this workload were the industrious efforts of Keiran, Aled and Cameron. James P brought his own usual exuberance to the game and the distribution work and vision of Nathan was prevalent throughout.

Today's game proved to be a real evenly matched contest that in the long term will benefit all the players, and was played in an exemplary spirit whereby both sets of players and supporters should be commended for upholding the true Rugby virtues. Our thanks go to our generous hosts Penlan and to the coaches Tony and Lee for making our journey thoroughly enjoyable and for giving Mike M the new rugby experience of being asked to pick up a prize size dog poo whilst on the run and while one of their players scored in the corner where the well trained dog would have gone in the first instance. A special mention to the Penlan player of the Match Lauren who despite being better looking, having a greater IQ and wearing less fake tan than the average rugby player never looked for any preferential treatment from the Crusaders or her own team mates - well done to her.

In response to Kay Midha's concerns and mimicry that the boys have nothing planned for the Friday Nights Cultural Gunfight, we are actually being filmed for the fly on the wall documentary series "Come Dine with Me" whereby the Under 9 coaches plan to introduce the non Rugby cultured parents to the delights of the Post Midnight Curry House Rituals and Etiquette. Lyndon will be given the task of selecting the starters and ordering the Beer, Mike M is in charge of ordering more Beer and the Main Course, whilst Dan has to undertake the unsung hero role of creating a distraction while we all climb out the toilet window before paying and then has to convince the proprietors that he was nothing to do with us.